Week 1, Day 4

All good things must come to an end… We justified once again why we are here today!  Despite a rough night and getting his new Valentine’s Day Mickey Mouse taken away from him this morning for not behaving, Gavin had two great morning sessions.  He was happy, eager to “take his bites” and enjoying the whole three ring circus of feeding techniques.  We had bubbles, cars, stickers, Mickey Mouse on the TV, and silly games…he was having fun and eating well.  Then, in the afternoon sessions (after no nap!) I got to feed Gavin for the second half of the sessions.  The first one was going so well at first.  We were laughing and he was eating so well, even in a meal without his beloved yogurt!  Then, we were being too silly on one spoonful and I caught him off guard with a spoonful of carrots while he was making a tiger noise, or I put the spoon in to far…who knows what got him, but it ALL came back up.  That was not fun, but he recovered relatively well and we continued.  (One hard part about this feeding technique is that you cannot stop if he gags or throws up.  The thought is he will figure out that if he vomits, you will take him out of the chair and the feeding session will be over, and vomiting will become a tool that he uses to manipulate the feeding process.  Yes, he is a smart little guy and quickly figures out how to beat the system when it comes to eating!)  The third session ended fine and we were off to play toys, completely forgetting the vomiting episode.  For the last session, Dr. Clawson came in to observe Gavin’s awesome chewing skills and observe me feed him again.  The session was going great, and Gavin was laughing and enjoying eating.  While playing the little game of “I’m going to eat your nose!”,  Dr. Clawson informed him that he was welcome to eat her nose…as long as he chewed it before he swallowed it!!  Finally, I was in the hot seat again!  All I did was assume my position in the feeder’s chair and Monster Gavin turned and looked me right in the eye, and I knew it was all over.  That little finger went up, and he told me “No Mommy!!  I do not want to eat that!” My sweet little boy just went off.  There was no calming him down.  I managed to get a few bites in.  The challenging part was that I could not just stop or it would send the message that if he behaves that way, then he gets what he wants and the meal is over.  So, I sat there for an agonizing seven minutes as he screamed and cried and refused bite after bite.  By the end of it I was in tears as well.  This is the hard part about feeding disorders…at least our’s.  Gavin has done great for all of these therapists.  It is hard not to blame yourself and wonder what am I doing wrong to make him not eat for me?  I know I have had many successful meals with Gavin at home, and these outbursts were not a daily or even always a weekly occurrence.  We just struggle when there is a new food, or he is tired, or to hungry, or all the stars aren’t aligned just right.  Plus, at this point the poor kid is burned out from a long week of taking his bites over and over again.  I should be happy that he doesn’t take his frustration out on others…again, just his loving Mother… I talked to Dr. Clawson on our way out and she assured me they would figure out how to tame Monster Gavin.  As we walked out, Gavin blew kisses to all the therapists.  One of them said, “Oh look!  He has his halo back on!”  Thankfully we were able to have a successful dinner after this, but I just stuck to the trusty old yogurt and PediaSure that we do so well with.  Here is a picture of Gavin after our successful dinner.  Such a sweet boy J

Other than the unfortunate afternoon feeding sessions, we had a very nice Valentine’s Day.  When we got back from lunch, Gavin had two packages waiting for him!  Both Grammy & Grampy and Grandma & Grandpa had sent him a little Valentine’s Day treat!!  He loved them and was so excited the packages were for him!!!  I also was surprised by a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Eric!! J  The whole house has been talking about what a nice husband I have and how beautiful the flower are!  They help to brighten up the room and make a not so good day a little better!!